Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.
noctos:
a message to all artists out there:
(via jackbarabacon)
thecrapamidoingwithmylife:
sweetmotherofpie:
POTC Bloopers are perfect
Johnny Depp being downright awesome.
(via crepsley)
So, I was trying to text my friend to “stay strong”.
I accidentally typed “stay strog”.
And it autocorrected to “stay stroganoff”.
I just told my sad friend to remain a Russian dish of sautéed beef.
(Source: youmovedmekurt, via jackbarabacon)
dropped a pencil: killing myself
closed the wrong tab: killing myself
hit queue instead of reblog: killing myself
typed ;p; instead of lol: killing myself
hallway is crowded: killing myself
eats last chip: killing myself